The year I gained 15lbs and lost my mind.

WARNING: *My goal of these blog posts are to let you, the real person, living a real life, with real bills and time challenges the truth and challenges of attempting to live a clean, emotionally and physically happy life. It won't be pretty sometimes - sometimes I will use words that grownups use to emote strong emotion. If this is not for you or you will be offended by who I am  - PLEASE don't read! There are plenty of other safe nice happy blogs for you to visit. This may not be the one for you! xoxo (however I am pretty kick ass so you might want to stick around)


This past year was stressful. In fact if stress had an older bigger badder brother who lived on the wrong side of the tracks - that would be what this past year has been. However, one of my friend's Mother recently said "yeah but all that is over now". She is right. Life is ok now. So what happens when you realize that the storm of whatever you are going through has passed? You have to put your head up and realize the harsh realities of the aftermath.

For me that harsh reality was my ass, and thighs, and cheeks that hurt when I smile too much. A long and boring story short - I went on some medicine (stupid lady hormones) back in November and somehow have gained 15lbs and lost my mind. I woke up and realized "holy shit I am fat"! Being that in general all other aspects of my life are fairly amazing - boyfriend is awesome, have a sweet 1974 econoline, good friends, I am funny as heck - there are days I could really care less about my size/shape as long as I feel good. This is the problem, truth be told I feel like crap. I have googled "does getting fat hurt?" and really not much came up. Here is the (well my) truth - yes, getting fat hurts and sucks. Even though I am by no means "Biggest Loser" fat, I am still too big for what I feel is comfortable. Now what to do about it? Well normally you eat less and move more - however due to my pesky lady hormones my entire adrenal function decided to stop. I think I actually had a conversation with it where it accused me of being abusive and something along the lines of "peace the fuck out". Sooooo what do you do when you put your body through so much stress it actually just gives up on you? The only way to "heal" your body is like most relationships. You have to be honest, and treat it really really nice like the sweet fragile flower it is. For me this means detoxing all the crap in my system, exercising, and basically following the rules you know to be healthy.

Upon advice of my Dr. - and listen kids, go to your Dr if something is wrong, or you suspect something is wrong - I purchased the Standard Process 21 Day Purification System. Don't get me wrong, I did my research before I purchased the $200 kit. According to their website :

"The Standard Process Purification Program is not a diet. It is a program that helps you live a healthier life by purifying, nourishing, and maintaining a healthy body and weight.
Our purification program emphasizes supplements and whole foods, particularly fruits and vegetables, while limiting high-calorie, refined foods and saturated fats. Nourishing yourself with nutrient-rich foods will provide the complex combination of vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants that are needed to protect the body and promote optimal health."

What does this mean in the real world? This means I paid $200 and got a bag full of  large jars of powder for shakes, similar to a protein powder, some supplement pills, and a folder of information - what a bargain! (sense the sarcasm) Oh and I had to go buy a half ton of vegetables and fruits, organic if possible, to fuel this cleanse.

Not to disappoint - but the Girl Scout Cookies were not included in the cleanse. You didn't think I wasn't going to go out without a fight, did you?

I purchased my kit on a Tuesday and planned to start on Friday. I will get more into that in my "Day 1" post. This is definitely something you need to be mentally ready for. Your body will take care of itself but your mind needs to be in the game with you - no matter what you think your mind and body are on the same team....sometimes you just need some tough internal coaching.

After all that...I was almost ready to begin!!!

Day 2: Standard Process Purification Program

Day 2: Death warmed over.

To be 100% honest with you - I don't remember waking up on Day 2. It was Saturday so (thank all the good spirits in the universe) I did not have to wake up early. I decided early on to stick to the normal morning routine of getting up, throwing assorted things in the blender, and making magic. This allowed me to basically be a zombie if need be (albeit a slightly detoxed zombie). This was the day I figured out my standard recipe for my shakes. I take a handful or two of greens. This has consisted of 3/4 spinach and 1/4 whatever random greens I get from the farmers market cheap. This week it was red chard and some mustard green. I literally just tear up the leaves (after washing and drying) and throw in blender. Time saving Tip: When you buy all of your produce wash it and dry it or put it in a salad spinner to dry and then store it. This will make it ready for you to use when you need it without an extra step. I then add assorted fruits to the greens, assorted vegetables, some spring water to get things moving, 1 TB of Flax Seed oil (dang that stuff is expensive!) and 2 scoops of my magic wizard powder and blend. I tend to use at least 1/2 frozen fruit. This allows the shake to be cold and better consistency. Trader Joe's has great frozen fruit with no preservatives. I like their frozen mango chunks, strawberries, and assorted berry mix. Bananas work really well for a smooth consistency as well. If all else fails the thing looks really pretty and impressive in the blender!

 

No cookies or other leftover debauchery in sight! Moving on up!

I have to be honest. Day 2 morning, ok all day, was rough. I didn't feel sick really - sometimes you can feel like you have the flu. I felt more spacey and out of it. I went to the store in the morning and I felt really light headed. I remember purposely walking away from an employee walking towards me with a bag of McDonald's (1st off you work at a health food grocery store and are eating shit - you are stupid), anyways I didn't want to smell the food and be tempted by ANYthing! I wouldn't eat McDonald's anyways but I didn't need the temptation! I purchased a few things just to make it through the day and made my way home as quick as possibly.


Since it was Saturday I decided to make lunch a "bigger" meal to hopefully make me feel better and set me up for surviving the detox symptoms I was having. I went to an old standby of spaghetti squash. If you haven't heard of or made spaghetti squash you do not know what you are missing! If I had to marry a vegetable it would be the spaghetti squash - yes, I may take other lovers - but spaghetti squash is my main squeeze. There are some really good basic how-to's to spaghetti squash here . Personally, this is how I make it. I cut it open lengthwise from top of the stem to bottom. You then will see the inside looking not un-pumpkin like with seeds and gross phlegm looking stuff. So walk over to your trash can (or if you are uber hipster your compost pot/bag/pile) and use a large spoon and scrape that crap out. I guess you can roast the seeds, but I am not that ambitious. I then drizzle olive oil over the flesh of the squash, shake some pepper on and place cut side down on a foil lined baking sheet. Place into a 375 degree oven for 35 - 40 minutes. When the time is up these babies will be HOT! Take them out and let them just chill for a few. I am impatient so normally end up using a clean dish towel and holding them with that. You then take a fork and run it lengthwise along the squash to get your "spaghetti". This is pure nature's magic at its finest! Who ever would think we have a vegetable that when you bake it and scrape it with a fork spaghetti appears?! Nature you are so sneaky! Also I believe it is something like 4oz of spaghetti squash is only 37 calories. Pretty amazing. Thank you good spirits for this divine food! I had sauteed with about 1 tsp of olive oil, onions, peppers, and mushrooms. I added this to my spaghetti squash and enjoyed my awesome lunch! Seasoning Tip: I use Trader Joe's 21 seasoning salute on almost everything. It is salt free and is a perfect mix..and last time I checked it was only $1.99!!!

Oh I X-Larged the crap out of this picture! Those blue cups are my water drinkin' cups (said in Southern accent).

 

After lunch I cleaned up the kitchen and seriously still felt ultra run down and like crap. I decided to go lay down - like proper in bed under covers at 2p.m. lay down. I started to read and soon fell asleep. This brings up an important lesson - LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!!! Your body heals when you sleep. You need rest. Your body is set up to work just perfectly if you take care of it. If you fill it with crap it will not work correctly. On Day 2 you will begin detoxing so you will want to be able to relax if need be. I took a wonderfully peaceful nap and my cat - Kitteh - enjoyed me being so cozy.





Dinner was a blur also. I roasted asparagus for "asparagus fries". All I did was put asparagus on baking sheet, spritz with olive oil some seasoning and into a 450 degree oven for about 20 minutes (open the open and shuffle them around after about 15 min). I also made another shake that night after dinner as I was worried that the shakes were some magic that I had to have to complete this successfully. There is conflicting info on this I have read: I have read you can have 1-5 shakes per day or 2-5 shakes per day. I am a sucker for sticking to the rules so this worried me! The 2nd shake at night caused my stomach to be upset - in a gassy way (gross)- that night. I really put this down to having it so late at night. Sleep was good once again with many bathroom wake-ups, but overall pretty good - and I woke up on my own Day 3 at 7a.m.! I NEVER do that on a weekend if I don't have to! Day 3 held some awesome changes so hang in there it does it better!!!


Overall it was a day you just had to get through! I did not have any strong cravings. I just felt like crap - which meant it was working!

The Standard Process email for Day 2 included the following information:

Welcome to Day 2 of the Purification Program.

What would you do for a million bucks? Would you be willing to live in a tent for 1 week? How about live in prison for 1 month? Would you be willing to move away from friends and family for 1 year? Well, thankfully you do not have to do any of this to feel like a million bucks, just stick with the purification program for 21 days! Hang in there!

How Should I Feel Today?

Don't feel discouraged if you feel a little less than 100%. As your body continues to purge toxins that have gathered over the years you may feel a little groggy, experience a mild headache and fatigue and perhaps even become irritable. Don't worry, this won't last forever and should pass in the next day or so.

Also, today or tomorrow is often when the cravings start to kick in. If they do, remember these tips to help curb the cravings:

a)	Add Gymnema Tablets (2 twice per day) if not already included.
b)	Have a little "Good" fat like avocado
c)	Try a little "Approved" protein like lentils (1 cup per day or 1/2 cup of wild or brown rice).

Weight Loss

Remember, no potatoes of any kind except sweet potatoes and yams. If weight loss is your goal, you should even limit those to ½ a serving each day.

For more details about what to eat during the program to optimize weight loss, please see the document "Diet with Focus on Weight Loss Support".

www.purificationsupport.com/email/weight-loss.pdf

Reminders

Remember, no canned fruit or vegetables. Frozen is fine, but fresh (and organic if possible) is the best as it increases the value of the program. The one exception is canned tomatoes for recipes (although fresh is preferred), but make sure to read the label. It should not contain any sugar, high fructose corn syrup, wheat, etc. In fact, it should basically say "Tomatoes and water."

Recipe of the Day

Spaghetti Squash

Ingredients:

-	1 large Spaghetti squash
-	Roasted garlic
-	Salt and pepper
-	Butter

Directions:

1.	Preheat oven to 350 degrees
2.	Cut spaghetti squash in half length-wise.
3.	Place on baking sheet and bake 25-30 minutes until tender.
4.	Remove from oven and shred the squash with a fork. It will look like spaghetti.
5.	Add some roasted garlic, butter and/or salt and pepper to taste.
6.	Serve with Marinara Sauce (recipe below)

Spaghetti Squash Accompaniment or Mix-In

Use the following as a side accompaniment or add to Spaghetti Squash mixture.

Ingredients:

-	1 large tomato (chopped)
-	½ cup of chopped fresh basil (some people prefer oregano)
-	½ tsp olive oil
-	½ tsp minced garlic
-	Salt and pepper to taste

Marinara Sauce

Ingredients:

-	2 tablespoons olive oil
-	2-3 garlic cloves, sliced or minced
-	1 medium onion, finely chopped
-	28oz stewed tomatoes
-	1 cup fresh Italian flat leaf parsley, chopped
-	½ cup fresh basil leaves, rolled and thinly sliced
-	Salt and pepper

Directions:

1.	Heat pan on medium high heat.
2.	Add olive oil, garlic and onions.
3.	Stir until soft then add remaining ingredients.
4.	Stir occasionally and reduce heat to simmer for 10-15 minutes.
5.	Salt and pepper to taste
6.	Serve over Spaghetti squash, kale, or broccoli

Stay strong and resist those cravings!

Day 1: Standard Process Purification Program

Day 1: Here we go! The following is my account - at the bottom of this post I will provide you the information given to me by Standard Process on Day 1. That way you will have a contrast of pretty marketing vs. real life.

Half of any battle in life is preparation. All the literature you will read on any cleanse will tell you to gradually ween yourself off any "toxin" (sugar, caffeine, soda) a week before your cleanse. Let's face it - most people don't do this. I am not a big soda or coffee drinker that wasn't really an issue. I would have to say goodbye to my after dinner sweets, which usually included things such as a sugar free pudding cup or yogurt. Nothing too bad, but I occasionally would eat cookies or ice cream. Point being - late night is when I would crave something sweet. This would be my problem area.

Things I would recommend for this cleanse:

Blender

Portable Plastic Drink Bottles

Small Lunch Cooler/Bag

Plastic Containers for Fruit/Veg storage

A way to dose out your pills - like an old person pill box! (I used sandwich bags b/c I had them)

Most important - Sense of Humor!

The day before starting the cleanse I went to the farmer's market (I live in California so I am lucky that we have a farmer's market somewhere every day of the week). I got vegetables and fruits that I knew and wouldn't intimidate me. This would be Tip #1: don't set yourself up for failure! Until you get on your feet, either in exercise or diet, don't do anything you are uncomfortable with thinking you will succeed! I decided to start my cleanse on a Friday. When you start a cleanse you could experience any number of reactions. The typical are headache or being tired. This is your body literally detoxing from all the crap in your system. I work full time and knew, worse case scenario, I could drag through a Friday feeling like crap. All I had to do was make it to Day 2 - which was the weekend. Most bad reactions start days 2 - 4 so I had the weekend in case anything weird started happening I could lay on my couch and moan like I was dying instead of just healing my body.



Yes those are girl scout cookies AND sprinkles you see!
The week before I really lived it up!

The Plan: Survive Day 1. I hate waking up early. HATE. If I have to leave by 7:30a.m. I would sleep in until 7:14a.m. if I could. This was the strategy. Wake up early, take supplements, make shake. I knew lunch would be ok because we always go out to lunch on Friday. I could get a salad with no cheese and use oil and vinegar (allowed on the cleanse). This meant all I had to do was get greens, fruit, Standard Process powder stuff (real name SP Complete) into a blender and into my mouth. I told you I am not a morning person - hence my total lack of ability to pour the shake from the blender into my juice/shake/adult sippy cup bottle. The supplements took a bit to get used to taking. I have no problems taking medicine. However, I have never had to take 10 pills in a row! You also need to be drinking half your weight in ounces of water a day. If you weigh 300lbs you would drink 150ozs of water a day.

You have to take 10 pills three times a day. You spend the first 7 days of the cleanse taking in each "dose" 3 Gastro-Fiber pills and 7 SP Cleanse pills. I guess these must help you poop or not poop I haven't figured out which! Probably a bit of both. They are magic pills created by a wizard somewhere, possibly out of grasses fertilized with unicorn dropping. Ok, maybe they just clean out your innards and make all your organs sparkly clean. All I know is they weren't that bad to take. I recommend drinking a LOT of water with each pill and make it cold. Once again set yourself up for success - if you are hungry and have a headache you wont want to take time to count out pills. I "dosed" out three days of pills, enough to get me started. You could do this in one of those really cool old people pill boxes. I just threw down two hundies for this kit, so I slummed it with plastic sandwich baggies.

 

 

 

You also can eat fruits and vegetables. They tell you to eat two times more vegetables than fruits and to try to eat them as much as you can raw. I was a little confused by this at first. You will find some of the Standard Process marketing is misleading. They tell you that then provide you with recipes of cooked food. Lame. I actually contacted their customer service email with that question. I was surprised that they emailed me back in a couple hours and were personable and very helpful. Bottom line is this - eat more vegetables than fruit and try not to cook them to the point that their nutritional benefit is gone. You are allowed to have 1/2 cup lentils or wild brown rice and 1/2 of sweet potato per day.

How my first day went: It was ok. After I woke up and managed to take the pills, drink the shake without injuring myself or loved ones  I went to work, ate a plain average salad for lunch. Around 3p.m. I did become VERY tired and had a headache. Nothing I couldn't deal with but it was noticeable. I made it home and fell asleep! I woke up about an hour later and was so tired and just felt like blah. I wasn't hungry at all surprisingly. I made myself eat a salad and small sweet potato. I decided to buy the really small sweet potatoes instead of trying to figure out cooking a full sweet potato, cutting it in an equal half, storing the cooked half, then having to reheat it. It sounded like a monumental task that I wasn't up for. Ain't nobody got time for that. I then fell back asleep. I only managed to drink one shake and was worried that was an issue. I drank tons of water (I am used to that). I for sure peed more - and woke myself up many times during the night needing to go! It was annoying but I knew it was a good sign. I survived my first day and was ready for the weekend!


Standard Process seems to be a very awesome "legit" company. I have been very impressed with their customer service and personal approach. When you start the cleanse you can sign up for daily emails that give a bit about what to expect that day and a recipe or advice. I have enjoyed getting these everyday and really feel they keep you motivated. I will include the email text on each day's post so you can see what the experts say. Thanks for reading!


From Standard Process Email:

Welcome to Day 1 of the Purification Program.

The most important thing to remember today is why you are going through this program. Keep your mind focused on your goals and remember... it's only 21 days! Let's get started!

How Should I Feel Today?

Usually, the first day is not too bad. You should experience some minor cravings, but most people don't really notice too much on the first day. If you are a heavy coffee or soft drink user, you may begin to experience some withdrawal symptoms from the caffeine or sugar. This is perfectly normal and should subside over the coming days. If you experience a terrible caffeine headache, you may try brewing a little organic coffee and taking just a few sips, (Don't overdo it here), and the headache will likely disappear. You should find you only need to do this for 1-2 days maximum and then you should be off the coffee altogether.

Weight Loss

For those wanting to lose weight, you should notice a loss of about 1 pound per day during the first week or so. Make sure to weigh yourself very first thing in the morning after urination for the greatest accuracy. It is important to measure your waist as well by using a measuring "tape" right around your belly button. Suck in your gut as far as you possibly can and get your measurement. You will repeat this every week throughout the program. The average 'inches lost' around the gut ranges from 1-5 inches during the 21-day program.

Remember to limit your intake of fruits. Ideally, for weight loss, your fruit consumption should be almost zero and limited to only berries in your shake (if necessary). To increase the power of your weight loss goals, choose only 3% and 6% vegetables. For more details about what to eat during the program to optimize weight loss, please see the document "Diet with Focus on Weight Loss Support".

www.purificationsupport.com/email/weight-loss.pdf

Exercise

During the next few days you may not feel up to much exercise, but as soon as you can begin some moderate exercise. This is not the time to train for a marathon, but daily exercise with sweating is tremendous towards helping you lose weight! An evening walk is a good place to start. Once you gain more energy and strength start to lift some weights.

Recipe of the Day

Tigger Tea

Ingredients:

-	8 green tea bags
-	3 inches of ginger root juiced (more or less can be used to your taste)
-	Juice of 5 limes
-	Water

Directions (Makes approximately ½ gallon):

1.	Steep tea bags in 32 oz of boiling water for 15 minutes
2.	In a 64 oz container, combine the steeped green tea and lime juice
3.	Add water and adjust flavors to your taste
4.	Pour over ice and sweeten with Stevia (if desired)

Keep focused and enjoy Day 1 of the program!

Supplement Regimen for Day 1

Note: SP Complete and Whey Pro Complete are food products and once opened, should be refrigerated.

Core Products (Required)

SP Complete	2 scoops (tablespoons) twice per day minimum up to 5 shakes per day
SP Cleanse	7 capsules 3 times per day
Fiber	Whole Food Fiber (powder): 1 scoop (tablespoon) 3 times per day in your shakes OR Gastro-Fiber: 3 capsules 3 times per day

Suggested Supplements (Optional)*

Protein:	Whey Pro Complete – 2 scoops (tablespoons) twice daily
Cravings:	Gymnema – 1 tablet 3 times per day or 2 tablets twice per day
Omega-3:	Tuna Omega-3 Oil – 2 perles 2 times per day

Dreams

About a month ago I had a dream that I died....today. Yep I dreamed I died on September 26th. Not sure why, or how, but that was the story. This has, of course, caused me masses of anxiety and to over analyze every little bit of life - telling friends to make sure the 6 year old doesn't get tattoos until he is 25 or start smoking. To make sure the 9 year old exercises and knows that he is loved. It is like planning your own funeral - that is NOT going to happen (note to self when you dream of dying or a specific date of dying it means that your life is in change..duh - google that shit)

If something freakish would happen (I do have that drive home from work) I think I would leave you with this.....

My 31 year old life lessons and/or observations: DON'T put shit in your face - you will look plastic and dum-ba. There are no quick changes - real changes take time - for weight loss, drink more water, eat less, move more - for "life" changes don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, those who love you always will & will tell you truths even if you don't want to hear them. Radiate peace and love and eventually in ways not even known to you peace and love will find it's way back. Laugh....a lot...mostly at yourself. Most important don't be afraid to be you - you are unique and amazing just as you are now right this minute - have more faith in you.- and that would mean have faith in the fact that the sky is still blue above you and the ground is still solid beneath you, you are going to die one day - but today is not that day so rock the fuck on...and really I am too pretty to die right now - yeah my bangs are a little screwed up (don't cut bangs yourself)...but I got stuff going for me.